Archive for April, 2011

William and Kate Fan-Fiction

April 29, 2011 3 comments

In all of his 28 years, he was never more nervous than now.

In all of the ups and downs and highs and lows that come with being an heir to the throne, nothing was as nerve-wracking as this one beautiful, tender, shining moment in William’s life. Here he was, about to be married to the girl of his dreams. A shiver ran up his spine as he caught a glimpse of her in her splendid, virginal gown.

Can any human being love someone as much as I love you? he thought. Is it possible?

Nobody noticed the slow rumbling—almost a gurgling—emanating from Kate’s throat. “Braaaaains…” she whispered slowly, seductively.

The Archbishop continued the service. “Secondly, it was ordained in order that the natural instincts—“

Kate leapt forward, grabbing the 60-year-old bishop by the cranium. “BRAAAAAINS!” she screamed before taking a solid bite from the top of his head. Her white dress quickly became soiled with the crimson red of his gushing blood. Read more…


Geeks vs. Hipsters

April 26, 2011 10 comments

Hipsters and geeks are both nominally outsiders, and both often find pleasure in similar things. Indeed, both tend to enjoy that which is “retro”. Yet there seems to be a fundamental difference between the two groups. In order to examine that difference, you first need to look at fashion…

Fashion and fads are, by their very nature, fleeting. We live in a disposable culture where what’s “in” one day is “out” the next—if you’re not playing the game and following the crowd, dahling, then you’re simply never going to make it!

Some people enjoy this pop culture rollercoaster, which is almost a kind of dialogue between producers and consumers. The trick is always to track the crowd’s tastes and both predict and define the trends, which are then dutifully followed by the public at large. It’s a feedback loop that is chaotic on the micro scale yet cyclical on the macro scale.

My personal observation is that fashions go through three phases in a cycle: in-fashion, out-of-fashion and then ironically-in-fashion, before becoming fashionable again. Think about flares for a second, if you don’t agree.

It’s the third phase of fashion where hipsters come in. Read more…

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Our New 3D Overlords

April 18, 2011 4 comments

James Cameron wants 3D technology everywhere, it seems—making the highest grossing film of all time be a 3D extravaganza just wasn’t enough. George Lucas is currently converting the Star Wars saga into 3D, starting with The Phantom Menace, which will hit theatres next year. And then there’s Peter Jackson, who is planning on shooting The Hobbit at 48 frames-per-second in order to make the 3D more immersive.

Where will all of this end?

I loved the 3D in Tangled, finding it incredibly effective; Tron: Legacy, too, made great use of 3D, particularly in an IMAX setting. I may be alone in this, but I found the post-conversion work on Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland strangely satisfying in a trippy way, even if the film itself was an insult to Lewis Carroll’s legacy.

But I don’t want everything to be in 3D. Seeing Iron Man 2 in 2D was, frankly, a relief. Do I want Dexter to be in 3D, or Breaking Bad, or Burn Notice?

To borrow a phrase from the recently emasculated Cookie Monster, 3D is a “sometimes food”. Read more…

Is Star Wars Science Fiction?

April 12, 2011 21 comments

It’s a common opinion amongst geeks: Star Wars is fantasy, not science fiction. It’s the sort of statement that appeals to pedants and prescriptivists alike (and geeks are usually both); furthermore, it allows for a convenient defence against claims that the science in Star Wars is poor or non-existent.

I’m not unsympathetic to that point of view. At heart, George Lucas has crafted a modern myth, and mythology relies on metaphor and poetic imagery, not rational explanations and plausible events. If science fiction must necessarily be plausible from a scientific perspective, Star Wars is out the window.

However, if science fiction must necessarily not contradict contemporary scientific understanding, what else gets crossed off the list? Try Star Trek, the Alien films and most other popular entertainment with a technological setting, at least on TV and film. Even Contact, a film based on a book by Carl Sagan, implies that radio waves travel much, much slower than the speed of light. Or what about Le Voyage dans la lune (A Trip to the Moon) from 1902, widely considered to be the first science fiction film… and yet we have the classic “man in the moon” as part of the visuals—preposterous even 100 years ago.

What does this mean? Are we going to reduce science fiction cinema to a handful of films? Or should we accept that maybe the genre is broader than us geeks will admit? Read more…